The Singapore Conservative Backlash

Many people would have seen some of 琼瑶 shows, and people always remember how much crying watching it involves, and how sad the stories always are. What people tend to forget, was that the main reason why the characters suffer such tragedies, was due to the pace at which the times were changing, and how ideas, values, and cultures were increasingly disparate between the generations. In particular, the generation with the power to make and break, and those who are barely seen or heard. For highlighting that, much credit goes to her.

As she suggested in 七重门, so many lives were wasted or made mesirable by the unchanging, unreflexive, out-dated, rules that govern the times; and in today's context, what we would refer to as the conservative beliefs.

Was reading through some of Sarongpartygirl's blog, and what came across, was a deep sense of respect and admiration; and at the same time a sense of sadness. Let's start with sadness, because, the Straits Times article which brought my attention to this blog-site said

'But others like Mr Ng Heng Ghee, a 33-year-old IT technician and father of two, frowned on it. "What she has done reflects badly on her parents because it shows that they did not bring her up well."'

What absolute bullocks! What does it really mean to bring a kid up well? Just because she posed naked on the website, means she was not brought up well? People should stop being superficial, and to search within themselves some form of substance, and what they did not realize, is that this girl has substance.

Maybe it is high time that parents stop thinking of themselves, as know all, and start to realize the kids can actually think for themselves. If one of these critics actually bother to read through what she wrote, they would realize (if they were not already blinded by their conservative beliefs) that this is a girl who is making sense of her own life, clearly seeking what she wants, learning, trying out different things in life. This is a girl, who is well aware with what is going on, who is actually thinking about what she is and wants in life; how many Singapore kids do you actually find like that?

It is sad, real sad, that far too many people, and at times national leaders, continue to adopt conservative beliefs, and in denying that times are changing, and there is a need to realize that values need to change too. Do they just want kids, who never seem to make any mistakes in life, kids of just listen and follow what their parents want them to do, kids who are always turning to instructions, kids who can't stand up for themselves, and kids who can't decide for themselves what they want in life, what they want for themselves and people around them. Maybe, it is time that parent/adults, start thinking about what it was like when they were young, and to really start thinking.

I guess, what drove this sense of sadness, was a real sense of respect and admiration, for this girl, who is clealry defying the norm, defying how others would percieve, defying the many ways in which this island community have attempted to dictate the ways of life; and to seek her own path, which clearly will not be problem free, will not be without pain or sorrow, but it will also not be without joy and happiness, without a sense of having one's destiny in her hand. Of course, she might not really know where she is heading or what she will become, but how many people actually do know where they are heading or what they will become? At least, you are aware of what is going on!

In what way is she not stronger than those who study really well, but who can't even make sense of what they want to do in life, people who can't even take care of themselves, people who don't even have dreams and ambitions, or people who can't even critically assess the world around them.

In many sense, maybe her parent did not try to make her who they want her to be, but clearly, she became someone who is strong and equip to meet the challenges of the world ahead. What else can parents ask for, than for a kid, who they can be certain, will be able to take care of themselves, will be able to chart their own futures, will be able to make sense of their own lives, even well after they are gone. That is not something to be ashamed of, and instead, that is something to be respected and admired.

Kids need guidance, but they don't need to be told what they must never do, for that is something they have to make sense of themselves. They must rationalize for themselves the choice and decision that they make, be aware of the implications of their own decisions, and then take the responsibilities of making them. Stop wanting them to just listen and follow, maybe its time for them to state their views, and for the conservative ground to open its eyes and ears to listen and listen well.